I awoke early, 4:30 am, with my checklist in the forefront of my mind. I tossed and turned as I wondered how I was possibly going to get everything done, and the bigger question was where to begin. Sleep alluded me, and I probably should have just gotten up to start the day rather than waiting until the alarm began to play.
I usually start the day with some quiet time with God, getting my thoughts fixed on Him. I have been using the devotional book “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young to jump-start my quiet time, and this time I was given a jolt! As if speaking directly to me, it began, “You tend to make mental checklists of things you need to do in order to gain control of your life. If only you could check everything off your list, you could relax and be at peace. But the more you work to accomplish that goal, the more things crop up on your list. The harder you try, the more frustrated you become.” At this point, I was fully awake feeling like I had been doused with cold water. Those were some of my exact thoughts! I prefer order, structure, schedules, rules…for some reason it gives me a sense of security and accomplishment knowing what, when and how things are expected of me. However, sometimes my planning and expectations get in the way, mess things up and distract me from following God’s leading.
How does one find balance between structure and freelance? Finding the balance is something I have worked at for most of my adult life, some days being more successful than others. For me, it begins with my attitude and mindset. How important are the tasks on my list? How can I glorify God through them or while completing the tasks? How is my attitude when the schedule is unexpectedly changed? No matter how much scheduling and planning I do, no matter how long the to-do list is, I must keep my focus on Jesus and let Him be my source of security and guide.
God has a plan far greater than I can imagine. Today, I fix my eyes on Him and let him lead the way.
Isaiah 55:8-9 says: “My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the LORD. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.